Overall description: This comic is comprised of loose, sketchy pencil illustrations of an anonymized figure (white, non-binary, short hair, goatee, collared sweater, dark pants, seated) usually shown from the waist up or as close-ups of their hands. These images are interspersed with xerox transfers of photographs. Text is hand-written in all caps withiout speech bubbles. Panels are rectangular grids except where otherwise noted.

Page One:

1.1: Um, I guess as far back as I can remember, like... I just wanted to be "normal?" And I kind of knew I wasn't "normal." [waist-up, making finger quotes]

1.2: Like, whether that was some sort of innate sense of queerness, or just innate sense of... [close-up of hands gripping each other in their lap]

1.3: Nng... Being different, or, um, having... according to the Americans with Disabilities Act, a disability. [hands are fidgeting]

1.4: Just not wanting to stand out and just wanting to go along and get along. And not have anyone be mean to me. Um... [waist-up, smiling sadly]

1.5: And I feel like most activism or at least the classic sense of activism is being out there and making yourself vulnerable. [montage of xerox transfers of various protestors being arrested or otherwise harrassed or injured. Each image is in a triangular panel, the four of them coming together to form one long rectangle across the width of the page. From left to right: 1) people with their hands up 2) activist in a wheelchair with her arms cuffed behind her back and being pushed by a uniformed cop 3) injured protestors being treated for their injuries 4) elderly activist with her hands ziptied together and a cop leading her by the elbow]

1.6: And I don't like to be vulnerable. [long rectangular panel. Figure is seen from the waist-up, spotlighted with the background fading to darkness around the edges]

Page Two:

2.1: Um. Yeah. [shoulders-up, head nodding side to side]

2.2: Like talking on this tape! Even though I volunteered to do this! [chest-up, laughing]

2.3: "Well, that's fair. I feel the same way when I'm in front of the camera." [borderless panel, my hands outlined in ink holding a smart phone that shows the recording in pencil. My speech is in a speech bubble. On the screen, the figure is rubbing their neck and saying "*sigh* Yeah, so..."]

2.4: I guess after the election, I had this sense that, like, I need to do something. And, like, I need to be more active. [Borderless panel. Figure sits at the left of the page rubbing their neck. Right side of the page is a xerox transfer that fades into a US flag and a rally in Boston]

2.5: But I still don't know how to... do that? And still feel... safe? [torso and upper legs, sitting on a chair, right arm out of view as they are still rubbing their neck, left hand on their thigh]

2.6: Even though just, like, in general, you know, I don't feel 100% safe. [both hands on their knees, fingers spread and hands relaxed]

2.7: And especially after the election... [hands tensed into loose fists]

Page Three:

3.1: I was ready to, like, run to Canada. [xerox transfer of overlapping post-election headlines, including "Canada sees a steep rise in US asylum seekers" and "Refugees asking for asylum in Canada argue the US is no longer safe"]

3.2: And so maybe now that I'm, um, feeling less need to [long, dark panel showing hands fidgeting]

3.3: grab everything and drive to Canada on short notice, [long, dark panel showing hands fidgeting]

3.4: that kind of urge to... to be an activist has kind of dwindled. [from chest to knees, hands fidgeting in their lap]

3.5: And just, y'know, watching the special counsel investigation and just going, "Okay... Maybe this'll take care of the situation." [xerox transfer of the special counsel investigation shown on the screen of a hand-drawn smart phone]

3.6: *sigh* But there's this pessimistic part of me that thinks that removing him from office will just make things worse. [from mid-shins up, hands fidgeting in lap, face half in shadow]

3.7: And that kind of angst will reemerge and we'll just be back where we were in November '16. [xerox transfer of a Civil War reenactor overlain with headlines reading "Another Civil War? Pessimism About Political Violence Deepsn In A Divided Nation" and "'The civil war lies on us like a sleeping dragon': American's deadly divide and why it has returned."]

3.8: And I just don't know what to do about it. [waist-up, head turned to the right, hands gripping in their lap. The figure is spotlighted, with dark fading in around the edges of the panel]

3.9: Like, I know I had kind of made a commitment to try to do something each day to make the world a better place, [waist-up, gripping hands in lap, looking toward the camera]

Page Four:

4.1: but that's kind of... fallen by the wayside. And part of that is just dealing with my own crap in my life. Um. [waist-up, looking into the camera]

4.2: But I do *sigh* I do feel kind of guilty about that, still. [shoulders-up, looking distraught]

4.3: And, like, I'd made a commitment to try and make my family see the reason, um, why the election was so upsetting to me. But, ahh, I just kind of lost... [long, rectangular panel showing only hands as they fidget anxiously. The pair of hands repeats in a gridlike pattern with subtly changes in position as they fidget, repeating four times across the page, then another four times below the top row]

4.4: After a couple of arguments, I just kind of lost the... the... motivation to do it? [chest-up, looking distraught]

4.5: It just, I don't know. Again, the idea of being comfortable with being uncomfortable. [closeup on fidgeting hands against a dark background]

4.6: And accepting... second-class status, or accepting that... that fear as normal. [closeup of hands clapsing each other tightly in fists against a dark background]

4.7: Um. But being too afraid to do anything about it. [waist-up, looking defeated]